Aug 02, 2020
One of your kids lost their job and cant pay their expenses. How you should handle it?
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Dear Pete,© Getty Images/iStockphoto Man using calculator to work on personal finances.
My 40 year old son was laid-off in April, and hasn’t gone back to work yet. His unemployment looks like it’s about to run out, and he has no money. He’s unlikely to be able to pay rent on his apartment moving forward. Do you think we should pay his rent for him, or should we insist he move in with us? He’s single, and we get along very well.
Elizabeth, Columbus, OH
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I’m sorry your son is going through this, Elizabeth. Losing a job can be demoralizing, especially with all the other complications of life we’re all dealing with right now. He’s certainly fortunate to have you in his corner.
With a question like this, there’s a temptation to answer it in regards to what’s best for you and your finances, but the reality is your financial interests actually align with your son’s financial interest, in this scenario.
Your son did nothing wrong. Like tens of millions of other Americans, he’s a victim of circumstance. The key determinant as to what’s next for this group of people, is whether or not they had financial stability going into this horrific financial period. Those that did, are more likely to financially survive this chaos, as long as they’ve lived lean throughout this process. The people who didn’t have financial stability going into this recession, are more likely to suffer for months, if not years to come.
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I’m not making this point to be divisive, judgmental, or haughty. It’s simply the harsh reality of American life today. Those with spare tires in their trunks, are more likely to get to their destination faster and with less headaches. There’s several factors which separate the financial standing and stability of Americans, and right after income, I think you’ll find the ability to handle financial adversity, at the top of the list.
Your son does not have stability. If you were to chuck money at him on a monthly basis to cover his bills, he still wouldn’t have stability. While he is absolutely a victim of circumstance, his lack of stability is the actual problem. Trying to solve circumstance doesn’t make sense, while trying to solve the problem does.
He should move back in with you until he achieves stability. I know, I’m suggesting you collectively make the decision to bring him back to the proverbial nest, which I’m generally opposed to, but this financial crisis is the “big one,” which means the rules were made to be broken.
The circumstances of his employment will change, but until he’s able to store-up three months worth of expenses, he should live with you. I’m thinking he’ll live with you for six months tops. Ideally this prevents him from ruining his credit, which would likely happen if he stayed in the apartment and his tough times continued. The main obstacle he’ll have to avoid is increasing his discretionary spending once he’s gainfully employed again. That’s bad because he won’t save the amount of money he needs to save, and his spending could begin to eat into his future rent obligations, which means it will be even harder for him to move out of your home.
When executed perfectly, he’ll save money each month in excess of what his rent payment would have been. That way his transition back to an apartment won’t stretch his budget. For what it’s worth, this is the same advice I give to parents of new college grads who are saddled with choking amounts of student loan debt.
There’s a right way and a wrong way to financially support an adult child, and there’s absolutely no shame in taking-on the challenge. The key is to identify the real problem you’re both trying to solve. Sending him rent money would be the wrong form of support because it doesn’t address the real problem. Open, honest, and empathetic communication will help both of you achieve your goals.
Best of luck to your both, and pre-congrats on helping bring your son to stability.
Peter Dunn is an author, speaker and radio host, and he has a free podcast: "Million Dollar Plan." Have a question for Pete the Planner? Email him at AskPete@petetheplanner.com. The views and opinions expressed in this column are the author’s and do not necessarily reflect those of USA TODAY.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: One of your kids lost their job and can't pay their expenses. How you should handle it?
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NBA Twitter cant believe the Nuggets let Troy Daniels take the last shot
Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images
NBA Twitter was horrified the Denver Nuggets drew up a last-second play for Troy Daniels.
After being thoroughly beaten by the Miami Heat in their first seeding game, the Denver Nuggets really needed a victory in Monday’s followup game against the Oklahoma City Thunder. With the game on the line, the score knotted at 109 and 2.9 seconds left on the clock, the Nuggets drew up their game-winning play.
Hardly anyone was expecting that play to revolve around Troy Daniels taking a potential game-winning floater.
That’s right folks; with Nikola Jokic, Michael Porter Jr. Paul Millsap and Monte Morris all on the floor, the Nuggets’ last-second attempt found itself in Daniels’ hands, which resulted in a miss and overtime.No offense to Troy Daniels, but Twitter roasted the Nuggets for that decision
Going with a diversion is one thing, but with Jokic being the team’s superstar and Porter having a career night with 35 points at that juncture, it was baffling that Daniels wound up getting the look.
If Denver had needed a 3-pointer, setting something up for a sharpshooter like Daniels (a career 39.6 percent shooter from distance on 4.1 attempts per game) would’ve made more sense.RELATED PRODUCTDenver Nuggets BRXLZ LogoBuy Now!Buy Now!
But with the game tied and more than enough time to attack the basket? Any set resulting in a Troy Daniels floater was bound to be burned to a crisp on NBA Twitter.
Me: I think Troy Daniels should play more.
Not me: I think Troy Daniels should take the last shot with MPJ, Jokic, Paul Millsap and Monte Morris on the floor
— Hardwood Paroxysm (@HPbasketball) August 3, 2020
It was only natural to wonder why MPJ hadn’t gotten a look.
MPJ got 35 on 12-15 and someones team went to Troy Daniels for the win????
— stud (@notoriousIT) August 3, 2020
You know you’ve messed up when Stephen A. Smith videos get brought into it.
Everyone when they saw Troy Daniels take the last shot pic.twitter.com/nnlW3niayK
— Brian (@Bri26_) August 3, 2020
Imagining Daniels’ reaction in the huddle made for a priceless reaction: